Vegetable Cruelty Protest
Israel - July 1, 2003 marked an historic day throughout the world. Activists from the Vegetable Rights Militant Movement (VRMM) let their voices be heard, demanding that cruelty to vegetables cease. The world-wide demonstration saw over two million participants in 76 countries. These millions of people are tired of the inhumane manner in which fruits, vegetables, and all plant life are treated.
Protestors carried signs, shouted angry words, made menacing faces, and otherwise acted unruly. “Civil disobedience is the least we can do for our brothers of so-called ‘lessor species’,” said Harlan Shawberry.
Most of the protestors were peaceful, with the exception of a few young men and women in Seattle who decided to spray paint the words “we kill and torture vegetables” on the wall of a local Subway Sandwich.
Without a doubt, this was the largest vegetable rights rally in modern history. “We are very pleased with the international support shown by all members of the VRMM today,” stated Vegetable Rights Militant Movement spokesperson Samantha Illian. “Politicians argue that people would die if laws were passed that prevented the killing of fruits and vegetables but we believe that is just anti-flora policy with no evidence to support the claims.”
No one was available for comment from the United States Department of Agriculture.
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