Organic Foods Are Evil

To those of you who think organic produce is more pure, more wholesome than mass-produced produce, I say shame on you. IT IS STILL PRODUCE!!!

How can you fail to realize that it matters not whether the poor vegetable has been genetically altered or hormonally envigorated - what matters is whether the poor thing has been sliced up by a cruel harvesting device of some sort or ripped from it’s life-sustaining roots by some other evil machine.

If you must consume a plant or plant part, please do not support harvesting! Instead, pick up a piece of fallen fruit beneath a majestic apple tree and consume it for your renewed energy ONLY AFTER first paying homage to the mother tree with a moment of silence (no less than ten minutes) and then an oath of pure intention to the child fruit itself.

OATH OF PURE INTENTION

O ___________ (insert fruit name like “apple”),
Before I consume your peaceful, resting, rotting flesh,
Please accept my humble vow to forever watch over
Your magnificent mother tree and all her celestial
Child fruit.

I am dedicated - heart, soul, and mind - to the eternal
Cause of righteousness that is the protection of all
Fruits and Vegetables from the evil killers - your hunters -
Herbivores and omnivores. Our mutual friends, the
Carnivores, we also honor at this time for their tireless
Effort in the cause of your protection. May I always
Stay true to the cause!

Apr 03 2007 05:20 pm | cruelty |

2 Responses to “Organic Foods Are Evil”

  1. on 10 Apr 2007 at 7:22 am Jen

    I took me a while, but I finally realized what this website is, a joke site.

    If you people were smart at all you would be vegetarian.

    Plants can’t feel pain, nor can they suffer. They have no brain to feel the pain, and they have no central nervous system to take it there. Plants can not suffer. That is why animal rights are more important.

  2. on 22 Apr 2007 at 9:06 am Carnivore

    So only vegetarians are smart? That’s not a very smart thing to say, ironically.

    Can you prove that plants feel no pain? Even if you can, can you prove that plants don’t want to die a horrible death in order to extend your life, or at the very least would prefer to live if given the choice?

    You vegetarians and vegans are so short-sighted that you think pain and suffering is the only thing that matters. What about life versus death? Why can’t plants be allowed to live a full, rich life and then finally, when the time is right, die of natural causes? You could care less that billions of plants die every day to feed your insensitive selves. Shame on you!

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