Cattle Join Ranks of Most Wanted

Cattle have been declared part of the “most wanted” category of vegetable rights offenders by the Vegetable Rights Militant Movement. These enormous herbivores are as inhumane as they come - non-stop killing machines. They graze in fields of beautiful, innocent grasses and eat up to eight times per day.

Not only do cows consume around 80 lbs of vegetation daily, they add insult to injury by regurgitating the maimed carcasses of the consumed and make a second pass at the torture of mastication.

It’s a good thing there are many humans willing to serve justice upon these beastly creatures by devouring their meat as homage to the brutalized vegetation.

Pam Anderson is Veggie Enemy Number One

Pamela Anderson has been masquerading as an animal rights crusader for years when in fact, like all animal rights activists, she is simply anti-vegite. She draws people’s attention to animals (who are also often cruel to plants) when their attention should be focused on Pam’s wide array of kitchen gadgets that are designed to mutilate all sorts of fruits and vegetables.

Not only does she serve the unholy organization that seeks ultimate vegetable annihilation (PETA) but she actively fights against those humans who have devoted themselves to vegetable defense and preservation, claiming that eating the meat of herbivores is wrong and cruel when in fact it is most charitable and noble.

By advocating the raising of vegetables in bondage, killing them, mutilating the corpses and ultimately consuming them, in addition to those reasons previously mentioned, Pam Anderson has officially been dubbed Veggie Enemy Number One.

May she forever live with the shame.

John Kerry is First Member of VRMM’s Most Wanted

Part of our site update includes a new feature where we will present a list of “most wanted” individuals who are cruel to fruits and vegetables.

After learning of the bigoted hatred John Kerry has for celery (a passive, innocent vegetable - deserving of no hatred from anyone), it was only logical to begin our list with the former Presidential candidate and current Senator from Massachusettes.

It’s hard to fathom the possibility that a Senator of the United States has a heart so black it’s filled with pure malice for such a wonderful member of the plant kingdom. One can only imagine the inhumane acts John Kerry would perform on celery if he was left alone in an unmonitored room with a stalk or two.