Great White Sharks Join League of Justice
Plant mutilators that venture into the various oceans of the earth will always be subject to the swift justice of the Great White Shark - newest member of VegetableCruelty.com’s League of Justice. Most species of shark will probably become members of The League, at some point in time, but we couldn’t induct anyone other than the mighty Great White as the first.
It is an honor to honor the honor of the Great White Shark, who defends innocent plants and under-sea-vegetable-type-life from harmful, arrogant, aquatic herbivores. So join us in this salute to the largest predator in the ocean!
Oil is Kinder than Ethanol
Is it morally justifiable to increase murderings and torturings of corn and sugarcane in order to lower energy costs for humans to drive around on roads that suffocate would-be seedlings from sprouting? NO, IT IS MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE!!!
The latest craze in the search for alternative fuels is ethanol. Brazil recently announced independece from Middle Eastern oil thanks in part to their production of ethanol (by fermenting poor, innocent sugarcane). Whoopty-do, Brazil. Your country just traded your everlasting souls for a domesticated renewable energy source. Nevermind that you cause insufferable harm to millions of plants EACH AND EVERY YEAR to do it. Killers.
There is also talk in the United States of moving toward higher ethanol production based on corn fermentation. I am sad to say that this sort of governmentally sanctioned cruelty towards corn will probably be commonplace and highly exaggerated within five years.
What kind of a world do we live in? No fruit, vegetable, or legume is safe.
Ethanol is cruel - read more here.
Lions Lead League of Justice
The Vegetable Rights Militant Movement has established the “League of Justice” to honor individuals who defend the rights of fruits and vegetables everywhere. The first member nominated is the King of the Jungle himself - the mighty lion.
Being social and witty animals, lions use cunning and cooperation to capture vegetable rights offenders and deliver swift justice upon them. Two groups of female lions (lionesses) will hunt together with one group driving veggie killers toward the other group for ambush.
A pride of lions will typically bring justice to vegetable rights offenders two times per week in the wild. The VRMM feels a special gratitude for this devotion to the protection of our plant kingdom friends. Keep up the good work, lions!
Cattle Join Ranks of Most Wanted
Cattle have been declared part of the “most wanted” category of vegetable rights offenders by the Vegetable Rights Militant Movement. These enormous herbivores are as inhumane as they come - non-stop killing machines. They graze in fields of beautiful, innocent grasses and eat up to eight times per day.
Not only do cows consume around 80 lbs of vegetation daily, they add insult to injury by regurgitating the maimed carcasses of the consumed and make a second pass at the torture of mastication.
It’s a good thing there are many humans willing to serve justice upon these beastly creatures by devouring their meat as homage to the brutalized vegetation.
Vegetable Rights and Illegal Immigration
There has been much controversy lately as the illegal immigration situation in the U.S. has taken front and center. We think this issue is simple, but not for the same reasons as most silly Americans. The problem with illegal immigration is that many of the jobs are vicious in nature toward fruits and vegetables.
Thousands upon thousands of illegal immigrants go to work in fruit and vegetable prison camps (farms for insensitive ignoramuses), thereby supporting the criminally cruel activities of the age-old slaughter most people know as the harvest. We don’t blame the immigrants themselves for doing this work, because they are simply filling a need created by the evil appetite for ill-gotten plant stuffs. So why don’t we let all the illegals become legal? It will drive up the cost of fruits and vegetables, which will in turn slow consumption. And we feel that any reduction in the consumption of fruits and vegetables is a victory for our cause because fewer individuals were slaughtered for consumption.
Legalize them! Help save a veggie!
Pam Anderson is Veggie Enemy Number One
Pamela Anderson has been masquerading as an animal rights crusader for years when in fact, like all animal rights activists, she is simply anti-vegite. She draws people’s attention to animals (who are also often cruel to plants) when their attention should be focused on Pam’s wide array of kitchen gadgets that are designed to mutilate all sorts of fruits and vegetables.
Not only does she serve the unholy organization that seeks ultimate vegetable annihilation (PETA) but she actively fights against those humans who have devoted themselves to vegetable defense and preservation, claiming that eating the meat of herbivores is wrong and cruel when in fact it is most charitable and noble.
By advocating the raising of vegetables in bondage, killing them, mutilating the corpses and ultimately consuming them, in addition to those reasons previously mentioned, Pam Anderson has officially been dubbed Veggie Enemy Number One.
May she forever live with the shame.
John Kerry is First Member of VRMM’s Most Wanted
Part of our site update includes a new feature where we will present a list of “most wanted” individuals who are cruel to fruits and vegetables.
After learning of the bigoted hatred John Kerry has for celery (a passive, innocent vegetable - deserving of no hatred from anyone), it was only logical to begin our list with the former Presidential candidate and current Senator from Massachusettes.
It’s hard to fathom the possibility that a Senator of the United States has a heart so black it’s filled with pure malice for such a wonderful member of the plant kingdom. One can only imagine the inhumane acts John Kerry would perform on celery if he was left alone in an unmonitored room with a stalk or two.
Site Update
VegetableCruelty.com has overhauled the website to provide more interactivity and more frequent updates to the general vegetable-loving masses. Increasing awareness of cruel practices against fruits and veggies is one of our missions and this new site will aid in the completion of that mission.
If you haven’t already done so, be sure to bookmark us, link to us, send emails to your friends about us, and join us!
Crime Scene from the New Jersey Coconut Massacre
Submitted by:
D. K.
South Belmar, NJ
This is a pic of serious vegetable cruelty to be posted on the site. It’s actually a young coconut which was massacred!
-More like “was” a young coconut. Very disturbing image.
Animals are also cruel to fruits and veggies
Submitted by:
M. U.
Somewhere, USA
What a terrible sight. This poor fruit is being ripped in half by an evil primate. Very disturbing…
